Sample Chapter

CHAPTER 3
The Depths of Hell

Breakfast in Hell was pure torture. The demons gave me only one plastic spoon with which to eat my food. They didn’t give me or any other damned souls forks or knives. The food wasn’t bad, but demons drugged me with all sorts of medications like Risperdal, which the other souls of the damned said was actually Methadone. The demon who told me to take it was a liar.

Soon, I met a demon who called himself, “Dr. Aralicia.” He claimed to come from Croatia, and he had a strange sounding accent. He asked me, “Subtract seven from 100.”

“93,” I said.

“And seven from that.”

“86.”

“And seven from that.”

My mind seemed foggy, and I found I had lost my ability to subtract. Dr. Aralicia told me the demons would escort me to another part of Hell. They took me outside where I could see the top of the towering Stratosphere Resort and Casino.

“What is the meaning of life?” a voice said. There was a boom like canon fire. Soon, I had visions of all kinds. The dome of the US Capitol building spun before me like a spinning coin dying in angular speed. The Capitol building was made of human bones. Soon, I found myself as Big Bird from the old television show Sesame Street. As I had become Big Bird, I roller-skated while wearing either a plastic face shield or an oxygen mask. I didn’t know for sure. Colors flashed before my eyes. Then I became Superman with blue tights and a red cape. However, instead of fighting crime, I sat in a study with book shelves lined with volumes of the World Book Encyclopedia.

Yes, what is the meaning of life, I wondered. After I was Superman, I opened the door to my room and walked into the hallway. Two demons materialized with lightning speed. They forced me to swallow big red pills. Then I went back into my room. I felt sick, and I stumbled back into the hallway. I sat to the right of the door while feeling the urge to vomit. Fortunately, I didn’t vomit.

The Devil really knew how to torture me in Hell. Blue lights flashed everywhere while shrieking sounds tormented me. I was too weak to stand. So I knelt in front of a chair and planted my face in the seat as the flashing lights and shrieking sounds tormented me there in Hell. When the lights and sounds stopped, I found myself in my bed again with the lights off. I could hear the song The Never Ending Story from the 1980s.